I’m looking for a slow build with friends or acquaintances. But it also means that apps like Tinder or Bumble and other ways people date now just don’t do it for me because they’re too direct. Getting a chance to experience this more is one of the main reasons for me for the open marriage. In the past, the most fun part of a sexual encounter for me was the build-up-the flirting and teasing when you’re not quite sure if the other person likes you back but you have reason to hope.
The problem is how to find someone else who’s interested.
The problem isn’t our comfort levels-we love each other deeply, are both comfortable with the idea that we can venture out but that we’ll always come back to each other, and generally have pretty good communication. My wife and I (both women) are now in an open marriage … at least in theory. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here.
How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column.